I suppose there is not much more stereotypically goth than contemplating one's own death. And not much does that better than growing old and burying the last of one's parents. The oppressively evident decay of your own mortal shell as well as the passing of those in your life give you stark reason to do so as life declares “thou art too mortal”. The realization that at any moment the fragile construct that you are may just cease to function. Yet, there is also the marvel that it continues to do so through the years it has experienced and trials it has passed. It seems this year is full of death, but it is probably just getting to the point where the people you grew up with as a child in personal life and in surrounding culture are now at that age. Think back a few decades and you might remember hearing your parents saying something similar. Now is just the beginning of the rest of your life. As a final reflection, if you died today, would you be ok with leaving all the things you left undone in such a state? If not, then the time to do them is probably best today.